Waking Up Next To Nothing

Losing the will to live. My rats are the only things keeping me alive.

:’(

You’re telling me I haven’t seen every part of who you are… We were together for 5 months, I know all of you, don’t try that shit on me. Its really fucking with me :’(

Why do you both keep fucking with me?

Its like you both want me, then you don’t, and I love you both so much and I keep thinking something goods going to happen, and something horrible happens instead :’(

I cut tonight.

First time in 25 days. Knew I’d fail again..

We were crazy about each other… So who do our differences have to matter?

I miss him. I miss Peter. So fucking much.

Stay at his again last night and we cuddled as we slept all night, at one point we were cuddling and holding hands and I couldn’t sleep for looking at our hands together, I just never wanted it to stop. I’m always so indecisive over what I want and things, but I need him. He says he’s moved on, I know he still loves me, he must, but everytime I try talk to him about us he just says ‘We don’t work’. We did work, and we’re supposed to be together… Fuck, I need to get out of my head.. See, I asked to see him again tonight and help him out at his, he said maybe then later said something ‘unexpected’ had come up.. So I was worried he was seeing other friends or this girl I don’t particularly like.. But I do trust him. He won’t tell me what exactly it is, but he said its family related. But now I’m worried what’s wrong with his family, because I’m so attached to them too… He used to tell me everything he knew, and now he doesn’t, and I hate it :’( I just, I’m losing the will to live…

Sick of crying :’(

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